Dear Mother Spirit and Michael,    We welcome you back with us each Monday evening with a funny, ironic feeling that you’ve never left.  Through your lessons over these past few years we’ve slowly gained the sure knowledge, and then a natural inner perception, of your presence with us.  The fact is: you are with us always, as is the inner presence of our Thought Adjuster, an individualized presence of God literally creating our souls with us by capturing all the spiritual/valuable moments of the life we do our best to choose.

A few weeks ago one of us introduced the notion that the here-and-now is taking very good care of itself.  We can definitely see and feel the truth of this in that, as we tune in ever deeper and broader to the dynamic, living nature of here-and-now, we can sense the miracle of how total reality--the universe is self-sustaining, and sustaining us as well.  There’s some constant creation going on here.

Yet when we think of the here-and-now taking care of--it--self, it reminds us of an enormous inner transformation, really a re-orientation, in our whole way of thinking.  This encompassing that surrounds and sustains us is not an--it--but the ubiquity and omnipresence of a personal God.  Yet this brings into question another great mystery: what is personality?  It’s not an “it.”  The Urantia book defines the word God--which has so many meanings in so many different contexts; still, the one irreducible essence is personality--the personhood of the First Source and Center.  One personal God is the origin/creator of personality in all personal beings of many hundreds of different orders of which we human beings are just one.  So we thank you for your many lessons all pivoting around this central mystery of personality.  Amen.

NEBADONIA:  Good evening, C--(Good evening, Mother)--and J.  So: it’s just the three of us here tonight… yet... as you noted, Michael’s here with us; and definitely our Father is here with us.  He is not only all around us--as you recognize, but sustaining this whole creation in a never-before and never-again present moment--this particular moment as you hear or read this--of His outpouring of life.  Let’s pause a while and feel what’s around us, and inside us.  Let us help you feel our presence.

(The mystery of personality)

Tickle yourself to imagine what must be the connection and the perception that Michael and I have of our Father.  We are directly connected as Creator Son and Creator Daughter to not only God but also the Eternal Son and the Infinite Spirit.  So you may wonder how personal beings such as we who are so directly connected to the Trinity, how we too can have our own, very separate, unique personalities.  We too are discrete, individual beings with the power to create our own children, along with God.  Then too a re-creative power is shared with you our human children, between all your brothers and sisters with each other.  You can create more of you, an ability that is not shared by all the orders of personal beings like seraphim, cherubim, sanobim; Melchizedek, Vorondadek, and Lanonandek Sons.  All these are created orders of beings who are not self-creating.  Only Father Melchizedek participates with us in the creation of his order of sons.

Yet though you get together and recreate the living, physical bodies of your children with a true combination of the physical heredity components of both father and mother, God himself creates the perfectly appropriate personality and endows this personal being with a spiritual sharing in His power of creativity.  You will have a life in which the physical and mental aspects of your being are spiritualized--co-created by you.  For it is your personality--you--your essential self, my children, that real-izes all the creation for you--including your own body and mind.  Everything of physical or mental nature that you experience is partly you, is part of your co-creation.  It’s your spiritual power to make reality real for you.

Some feel this as a prison of subjectivity, a prison of self.  It’s like discovering your fingerprints--your interpretation--on everything you perceive.  Yet there is also a liberation in this awareness of subjectivity when you get over the panic--(Mother chuckles)--of realizing there is no absolute or true objectivity you can grasp purely cognitively once and for all.  All human experience, even of mind and spirit, is provisional.  This realization is especially important from the standpoint of a human being just starting out in this their first phase of eternal life.  Even you oldsters have to realize how tiny is your experience of life so far, limited just to one planet or even--(Mother chuckles again)--one country, or state, or neighborhood.

(Objectivity and subjectivity)

Yet though absolute objectivity is humanly impossible, it’s an orientation towards truth, ever striving to be more and more objective--realizing and appreciating all that is not-you--realizing that only God, only the Creator can completely perceive and respond, literally connect with the whole cosmos.  It might seem philosophically ironic, but by accepting and being aware of your own subjectivity, your own heredity, your own parents and the way in which you were raised, all the conditioning we’ve talked about that forms the very meaning and value of your life; only by becoming conscious of this, as Michael mentioned last time, with an ongoing, deepening understanding of who and what you are: only in this way can you come ever closer towards objectivity.  You can not only perceive and apprehend but you can also grow in your appreciation of just how marvelous is that ungraspable objective reality out there we call God’s infinite creation, including your inner human personality.  

You can appreciate that though there is an enormous amount of impersonal reality--(Mother chuckles)--all the material and energy of the universe--it is being created by personal beings, initially by God, then following, out here in time and space, by all of us hundreds of thousands of Creator Sons and Daughters co-creating with Him and with other agents in our Local Universes.  Michael and I create between the two of us our universe sons and daughters--including you-- endowed though with His personality creations.  This is indeed--as Michael has put it--the great personality circuit of God.

This is the Deity Absolute, the combination and comprehension and sum total of all personal beings, connected with the Unqualified Absolute, that other aspect of total reality that cannot be humanly qualified; or, if you will, is only qualified for you moment by moment as life moves along from unlimited potential to some specific actual event.  This humanly incomprehensible aspect of total reality does respond to personality, somewhat as these living bodies of yours, composed of impersonal matter and energy, respond to you.  It is the responsiveness of the creation’s potential to personal spirit--the experience of this--that is an ongoing purpose of life.  God’s agents are constantly creating more material/energy manifestation in time and space, and the bringing of this into control by all subordinate personal beings is one of the main functions of cosmic evolution.  This is what you are involved in as a human being, dealing with and understanding this body and mind you were given.  Consider our many lessons we’ve given on all the stages you’ve come up through since conception.

Be not afraid of reliving any of these phases you’ve come through.  Not too many years ago you had a wonderful popular notion of staying in touch with your inner child.  See if you can see life through the eyes of a child.  See if you can perceive each other, and feel us, with innocence.  Otherwise you are missing so much, which brings us right back this here-and-now, that one of you said is perfectly taking care of itself.  We would say that life is perfectly being taken care of by God.  It is all happening by His will.  Time and space are dimensions of His will.  There is absolute security in this, even if this is for you a progressive achievement to, step by step, first identify with, but then actually be able to live by, an increasing security in Him.

(Security in God’s will and ways)

Everything begins and ends in His will and, day by day, experience by experience, you can learn to trust in that will.  There is no he, nor she, nor them that can give you this security.   There is no It--some ultimate impersonal thing you can conceive of or relate to that can give you this security.  This can only come from an ultimate personal being.   But with confidence in His personality, and in His sustaining of yours each moment, you gain a confidence in the reality of personality, what personality is.  You are in touch then with your own creativity.  As we have told you, there is no impersonal spirit abroad in the universe.  All creative spirit is the functioning of a living personal being.  All creative spirit that we can point at with the word has the feeling of being alive in it.  Each is personal and therefore somewhat unique in its manifestation.

Our human children are spiritual beings.  You are creative beings, yet this is so much a part of your nature some numbers of human beings go from birth to death missing the full awareness, the full conscious wonder of their own spiritual/creative nature.  They are so captured by their own perceptions of a seemingly pure object/objectivity that they have almost no inner life they recognize and treasure, and can assign to others.  Yet they are human, if in part barely above the stage of a primitive, just being part of the landscape, so totally captivated and controlled be what they think of as a purely exterior world, they never outgrow feeling fatalistic.  They never realize and take responsibility for their own co-creation.  This is why, on this immature mental level that still exists into the present day, modern warfare can be so utterly destructive.  These people refuse to realize they are seeking to destroy part of themselves--their own interpretations and projections of others, but who are as precious--in God’s sight--as themselves.

This has been a large part of your planetary history in both peace and war.  It is the basis for your prejudices along the lines of race and culture.  To a simple-minded racist that other person over there, that other unique human being is some kind of less-then-human creature.  With no awareness of their own inner and unique creative spirit, which is doing the projecting, that is how that other human being is being perceived.  But by being aware of their own living, provisional subjectivity, being aware they do not have anywhere near an absolute or infinite comprehension of another person’s life either, they can break the unconscious habit of arrogant, self-flattering assumptions.  

This is the truth, my children, and we offer it to you.  This is the truth that makes you free, that gives you the motive and ability to respond.  This is Michael’s orientation, his Spirit of Truth that, ironically, by being more and more aware of your own uniqueness, being more and more aware of your God-given personality, you can approach being ever more objective.  You can withdraw your prejudices and your projections and be blessed with living in a world of ever more unique individual people--that greater truth.  This is the real wealth of life that is being offered once you get beyond denial, once you get beyond the often unintended arrogance of being a fundamentalist and believing you have some kind of fundamental/absolute truth in hand.

It takes courage, my children, to accept the provisional and relative nature of whatever truth you may grasp shy of the presence of God himself.  And even here you have to be open, moment by moment, to His living presence within you, constantly willing to give up what reality was even a few moments ago to be truly open to this here-and-now, this living, dynamic here and now in Him.  This awareness is grasping the truth of: in Him we move and live and have our being.  He is our origin and our destination.  And though we literally live within and by His will, His will for each one of us is a necessarily reoccurring discovery by us.

For a human person, being a living, material being as you are in part, who and what you are is a constant rediscovery.  You have to be willing to let go and surrender all your hard-earned notions of what is what in order to be open for what’s happening next--the whole spontaneous half of reality that is changing and evolving.  This is especially true about that part of your human life that cannot be anticipated but can be welcomed with faith in His will, in spite of whatever pain or sadness it brings.  This is why we have our lessons on your souls, my children, so you can constantly let go denying or rearranging your past to fit some stubborn prejudice.  You can let the past go because in your meditation your soul pops up again in all its spiritual fullness.  You have a presence of God within you keeping a record by taking on your life from His perspective.  This is the fullness of the meaning and value in your memories, so you needn’t fearfully cling to the past, or constantly rearrange it, but let it go to pop up again from your soul.

Your Urantia book has a powerful saying of: living in marvelous uncertainty, but with security.  It points at the spontaneous aspect of reality you cannot perfectly anticipate but can welcome with a growing sense of security in God, and in your spiritual mother and father--Michael and me; even in each other.  There is such a thing among our human children as honor.  We call your attention to the men and women who have lived and given their lives by their word.  This is within human ability, this sense of honor and trust-worthiness, this determination to make your honor real.  This too you can choose to do.  We just ask you: be aware and very careful of your freedom.  Be very consciously aware to whom or what you pledge your sacred honor.  Appreciate as best you can all the men and women who have come before you, who pledged their sacred honor, and kept it, that you might have the freedom you enjoy.  Be aware of the price that was paid.

(The meaning of appreciation)

And so you see, my children, appreciation has no bottom or top or sides to it.  To be aware of and appreciate all that is not-you, all that objective world out there of people and places and things; this is the wealth that God offers your soul: the appreciation part is up to you.  It was the enormous, fatal error of Lucifer and Caligastia that they not only failed to perceive but failed to appreciate God’s personality and will in the encompassing within which they found themselves.  And so they missed the greatest joy and wealth that God is constantly offering each one of us.

We thank you, dear Father.  Thank You for our lives, and each other.  Michael and I thank You for these our children.  

If you have any questions or comments this evening--or not--feel free.

Student:  Mother, it’s great being here with you and Michael.  I understand that Michael gets to go to paradise and experience being with the Father from time to time, and I was wondering if you have the same privilege.

NEBADONIA:  Yes, my son.  The short answer is: only through Michael--(Mother Spirit laughs).  No, I have to stay put here.  I have to stay here and be the mind/spirit-conduit for my Local Universe.  I have to remain as the Holy Spirit, a living part of each of my human children.  Right this moment you are literally living in me.

(Michael and Nebadonia sharing their lives)

Michael and I know how difficult it is for our human children to comprehend our order of being.  It will take you a while.  You’ve a million steps to go through as you approach our being, for while it is true we are living within and beside you, your perception of us, your feeling of us, your awareness and realization of us is different for each one of you.  I’m sure you can look back over your life and see how your awareness of us and what we’re doing with you and for you has grown.  But I have to tease your imagination to wonder how intimate and how one with each other Michael and I are capable of being.  It’s so far beyond what you might think of as telepathy.  Even in your most intimate moments of sharing so much with a dear friend, it’s still not what I can share with Michael as he goes on his jaunts about the universe and back to Paradise for his convocations with his brothers.  All the Mother Spirits are along for the ride and the visits.

And yet again, this mystery of personality: we are not two identical beings any more than are two human beings identical in any sense--physically, mentally, or spiritually.  We are not material, but we are even more intimate with material and energy than you, my children, because we have our creative prerogatives to interact with material and energy in ways that you do not.  It is not for nothing we are called Creator Sons and Daughters of the Trinity.

And so I am not in any way bereft of anything by not moving around like Michael does.  It is my joy to accompany him everywhere in spirit, as it is my joy to accompany you too when you push off from the shores of our Local Universe and head out into the galaxy.  I will still be with you.  This is my joy.  This is my power.  This is my glory.

So I thank you for your question and being able to share this with you as best you can feel it yourself.

Student:  Very interesting.  At least I don’t have to go through any preparation anxiety when I leave the Local Universe.

NEBADONIA:  No, I’m a wise old Mom in that sense.  I don’t cling to my children.  In fact I’m like a mother bird with her little chicks that might be afraid to fly.  At a certain stage they get pushed off the nest.  And so too you get pushed out of the nest of this first world you’ve known.  But how else do you find your spiritual wings to fly through the Morontia realms?  I mean that figuratively: you don’t actually grow wings.  You continue to grow your spirit and consciousness and they will carry you into dimensions you’ve yet to imagine.

Student:  I look forward to all of that, and being with you through all of eternity.

(Developing your inner reality)

NEBADONIA:  If you feel a warm glow, it’s most endearing.  As long as you are in this human life you will have as part of your very being, your animal being, a certain anxiety, for there is wisdom in this intense desire to survive.  The sanctity of life is more than just an expression.  It is only by thoroughly feeling your own life’s value that you can recognize this and grant it to others.  Primitive men and women often had so little inner reality yet developed; they were so captured by their world and the demands put upon them just to survive; they could give so little value to themselves and their lives: and then to each other.  This was one of the causes of incessant warfare that is even today only superseded and grown out of by successive generations gaining a sense of value through an inner awareness of spirit and soul, and then see ing this in others.  So I’m happy, my son, you are developing these.

Student:  Thank you, Mother.

NEBADONIA:  You are very welcome.  Thank you for all the journeys you’ve made with us, not only in spirit but physically too--coming so far to get here all these years.  This energy field you and your compatriots are able to produce among yourselves definitely gives an opening for Michael and me to express ourselves so much more freely and directly.  So I thank you so very much for your loyalty and devotion in sharing these times with us.  Continue to be in my love.  We will meet face to face some day.  You have my word on that.  (Yes)  Good evening.