Dear Mother Spirit and Michael,    Tonight we wish to acknowledge and thank you for being not only our parents but also our very dearest and closest friends.  Especially in these hard times it’s so comforting to know that you are beside us always.  As you yourselves have said, “We will never forget you nor forsake you.  We will never abandon you, but we will be with you all of your days on earth and then on into that great mystery that awaits you all.”   And so you give us a wonderful example of how to be true friends with those around us.  We pray you help us open our hearts, open our minds.  Help us penetrate through all our prejudices and generalities--clumping people--to see each one of us as the unique creation of God that we are.   Thank you for pointing out that this is our dearest treasure that we carry with us always, these other human souls we’ve come to know.  Amen.

NEBADONIA:  Good evening my children, this is Nebadonia, your spirit mother, and, I might add, the mother too of these bodies and minds that you now possess.  It was Michael’s and my Life Carrier Sons who literally started life on earth, and it was under their direction, as well as that of my Mind/Spirit Adjutants, who directed the course of evolution right down to your birth.  So I do hope you appreciate these marvelous designs of yours that we’ve come up with already, though the human body itself is evolving and will continue to evolve literally forever on and on into the stages of Life and Light on the planet.


(You are complete: curiosity)

I wish to emphasize again that facet of human reality we’ve called completeness.  It’s the fact that at each stage of not only general human evolution, but at each stage in your individual life, my children, you are a complete being.  There is nothing missing for you to go on and have an eternal life, if you so choose.  This is our gift to you, along with the potential for a free will to make of it what you can.  What you make of your life is also your gift back to us.  Those of you who have been parents– I realize–  may sometimes feel a little dismay that your children are not truly yours, but belong to themselves and are determined to be so.  So you also can know the delight of their autonomy and creativity.  We too can see in you this striving to embrace life.  Tonight I would like to talk about this marvelous spiritual quality you’re endowed with, and that I, with my Adjutant consciousness, share with you and augment.  This is the quality of curiosity.

You have that ironic statement that curiosity killed the cat.  For this particular little domestic creature, what you see is mostly just a native hunting ability as well as a territorial sense of ownership and a gregarious nature.  Yet this leads to all that really interesting behavior with their human friends that you call curiosity, and so you can see even in a small animal like this how a territorial imperative coupled with simple hungers of food and mating leads to a need to explore as best it can its surroundings--and get into trouble.

But there is not only a quantitative but an essential qualitative leap from this interesting little pet to a human child.  Even shortly after birth as the small baby becomes aware of its surroundings, you can note how they seem to be like a sponge just absorbing this unique reality of theirs.   We spoke of attitude as the marvelous willingness and then the growing ability to relate to all that other out there--ultimately to embracing and crossing the whole of the universe, the whole of Havona--I should say, the billion worlds of Havona, until you stand some eons and eons from now in the presence of your Father.  This is the marvelous drive that encourages you to seek out and embrace the true glory of God’s creation.

I’m not sure why you say it killed a cat.  Perhaps because that very curiosity and need to have a certain territory under its control leads your precious little kitties out to grab hold of more than they can handle and defend--against maybe some bigger dog entering their realm that, if they were a little bit wiser, they would avoid.  It’s certainly not true with human beings.  It’s the very essence of curiosity that enables you to grow--the power, you might say, behind your need to grow.

Your Urantia book correctly points out that while your personality is changeless beyond your ability to fully grasp and appreciate yet, still the relationship between your personality and your spirit-generated soul of all your experiences is nothing but a dynamic growth; or else you and it would cease.  Curiosity is that innate drive that feeds your soul.  If there is any negative human attitude towards curiosity, it’s probably the fact that often in some of your more lazy moods it will not let you rest.  And so you wonder: what is beyond the horizon of what you have so far experienced?  What is out there?  How do you get to it?  Wonder is curiosity’s corollary with a double meaning.  Like curiosity it’s wondering what’s out there.  Then you get to stand in wonder and awe at the enormity of what you’ve just discovered.


(Courage)

And so to arouse you out of your lazy slumbers, to motivate you to go beyond what you’ve already accomplished, you have that closely allied spiritual quality of courage.  With these two great spiritual qualities, my children, you cannot go wrong.  You will find your way home someday across eons of time and the whole time/space universe.  Courage can be seen as the allied power that enables you do that which is difficult or frightening, even in the face of the pseudo-wisdom of fear--the shrinking back from what your true wisdom says you need to do.

This is the next step for there is basic physical fear--animal terror--shrinking back from the unknown--the overly cautious attitude that just wants to be content with what you’ve already encountered and made your own.  This is so instinctive on such a physical/mental level it takes the spiritual quality of courage, coupled with the free will of yours, for you to get out and live a fulfilling life.  It enables you to say at the moment of death: Yes, dear Father, I’m full to overflowing.  I’m ready to go to the next stage.  I wonder what it might be?  We have assured you, you will not dissemble your surprise upon reawakening on the Mansion Worlds to look around in true wonder and reborn curiosity at how marvelous and strange it all is.  This is the reward of curiosity and courage: a full soul.

Think of the people you have known, my children.  Think of having them in your soul far, far beyond even your wonderful memories of who they were and what you shared.  It is your eternal wealth.  Just as you can have the sure knowledge deep in your heart that you too are a priceless gift of God’s, so are they within you, and that they too have you in their souls.  So glory in this great drive to constantly go beyond what you have yet known, whom you have already met and befriended.  Let me tease you with the notion of all the other kinds of beings you’ll encounter.

We’ve talked about dimensions of reality, so think of how each order of living beings is another dimension of reality that you will encounter and come to know.  It’s how, shall we say, a Melchizedek sees himself and the universe, and sees you.  This is that great adventure of all kinds of beings, and then each one of them as well a unique person.  It would be quite overwhelming were not for the fact your personality--your personhood--you--have no limits, neither in time nor extent.  You will cross the universe.  You will cross the billion unique worlds of Havona.  Your future stretches out in front of you with no limit whatsoever.

Yet there will always be your curiosity getting ever larger for all the rewards it has led you to.  There will always be that greater part of God’s creation that you cannot know from the outside, but only from the inside, only from the most intimately playing with it.  There will always be, my children, the need for courage--always.  You will always be asked to go into that which you cannot know beforehand.  This is the essential mystery that God is, and it lies within every pair of eyes you meet.  So be of good cheer.  Glory in the curiosity and the courage you can have to meet those other eyes looking to meet yours.  This is the great personal dance, not of galaxies swirling through space, but of each unique individual living being.  Eyes meeting the response of eyes: this is what it’s all about.  This is that immediate infinity when you meet another person, and this is why they fill your soul.

So let us thank our Father together, as Michael and I too live in a living worship that we too have not only our power and glory, but even our need for curiosity and courage to greet the new day.  In this we are very much alike, my children, and some day you too will be in somewhat a similar position as Michael and I are already, with some vast concourse of other subordinate living beings dependent upon you.  This is that marvelous future waiting there for you.  We invite you to go forward with joy to meet it.

If you have any questions or comments, I think I know where they’re coming from.  

Student:  Good evening, Mother, I have a curiosity question, if I may.

NEBADONIA, chuckling:  I can hardly refuse now, my son.  

Student:  I’ve always wondered why you’re not mentioned by name in the Urantia book?  In all my reading the Urantia book I never met you, I never knew who you were until we got to these sessions.


(Introducing Nebadonia specifically)

NEBADONIA:  Well, yes, my son.  You’ve no doubt noticed the similarity between my name and the name of our local universe.  (Yes, I did)  As with the chicken and the egg, you might wonder which came first.  They literally arose together.  As a Mother Spirit, my space presence literally defines Nebadon.  But as to why this is not in the original Urantia book, we had to draw the line somewhere.  Remember I teased you before with saying it’s not often we get a question of why things--weren’t--included in the Urantia book.  For most folks--I’m sure you’ll agree--it’s quite comprehensive enough.  (Yes)  And so the need--or shall I say, the usefulness--of the whole Teaching Mission, which we once likened to a college professor giving ongoing lectures on the text.

There is so much to God’s creation, my son, that the Urantia book is truly only the skimpiest of outlines of what actually exists within cosmic reality.  The purpose of the Teaching Mission is to keep bringing out more and more facets of both ours and God’s creation, and you yourselves.  So I can only say: no excuse.  We accept the omission.  It wasn’t considered prudent at the time.  As Michael said last time when instructing you about what we feel is one of the best kinds of meditation, we hope we are making up for that now.

Student:  Yes, definitely you are, Mother.  Thank you.

NEBADONIA,(with humor):  At least now you know now how to address me.  Be in my love.

Student:  Excuse me, Mother Nebadonia?  It affects me personally, what you said tonight about acting out of curiosity, and the need to activate our courage.  It requires me to overcome a really deep-seated kind of fear and panic that goes right to my gut, and is something I struggle with every day.  Then what you said at the very end, about at some point in time being responsive to all these other beings, something about not only having a vision of something but why it’s worth it to go through dealing with our really deep animal fear now.  Just any ordinary every day--what I need to do to take care of people just isn’t compelling enough to, like, be willing to grapple with the fear.  And so it was really helpful to hear that there is this endless adventure that is so fascinating.

Somehow that makes doing it now really worthwhile, because if I can do it now--take care of what is my own--then I will have grown so much that when I have greater and larger responsibility, I’ll just take it on; I’ll have so much more resources of my soul to do that.  So it’s really helpful to hear it.  I’ve had so many accidents, I’m really grateful for courage--to know they could be good for something.  Thank you.


(Dealing with fear and panic)

NEBADONIA:  My daughter, I’m so proud of you, working with me here to activate and share my other great adjutant of wisdom.  This is what I hear you expressing now. The best advice I can offer you is to continue to trust in your feelings no matter what they are, because there is great wisdom and courage in feeling your fear, even your panic--directly--for they are not entirely unavoidable.  There is the whole psychological dimension of reaction to feeling.  You have an innate ability, and well as other folks’ examples, of denial--what you might think of as running away in your mind, or drowning yourself in any number of physical diversions, food or drugs, to avoid facing stark realities.  

So I commend your courage in dealing with your fear and panic, because the shortest, most sure way of doing this is right through them, not running away from them.  Just feel and courageously let your feelings articulate what exactly there is to be afraid of.  Then your personality, endowed with wisdom and free-will initiative, can see through the mental fog of fear and blind reaction, to original causes.  It may take a number of times, but in time you’ll arrive at an inner understanding that gives you some detachment from overwhelming emotions.  It may seem strange, but because you are determined to feel these things and let them articulate within you, by that very thing you become greater than them.  Just to have them as a discrete inner perception to examine is how you get through them each time.

To back up what Michael talked about last time, this is a great benefit of meditation, of sitting down right in the middle of fear and saying: OK, let’s have it.  What is there to be afraid of here?  Let it come into expression.  Here, my daughter, you are exercising your faith.  You are trusting that you yourself, your spirit and your soul, are greater that anything fear can articulate.  But this is a real experience.  These feelings are no illusions as some of your metaphysical systems would have you believe.  They are real and they have to be dealt with if you wish to grow, if you wish to exercise your wonderful curiosity and wonder, and have what they lead you to discover in your life.

So I congratulate you on paying due respect to these feelings, even for the way they intrude into your life.  You are right.  As you penetrate them with insight, that very thing strengths you.  That kind of soul growth is what prepares you--as you understand--for the next big challenge.  So I hope you have a good sense of humor and irony about what you are being prepared for.  (Mother and student chuckle)  There will always be the need for courage, for you will always be encountering--forever and ever--something enormous.  But then that’s the glory of it all, is it not?  So carry on, my daughter.  Be unafraid.  Just keep feeling what reality and your own soul present you with.  Keep choosing and deciding by exercising your free will.  Keep developing it too like a strong muscle, and it will stand you in good stead.  And be in my love.  (Thank you)

Student:  Yes, Mother Spirit.  One of my greatest fears is the opposite of curiosity.  It’s of being complacent, of not--in a sense--seeking--seeking a different way of looking at something.  But it seems like I’ve always been serious in wanting to see what’s going on around me, and within me, in a different way.  I feel that in the past few years--especially since I’ve been involved with the Teaching Mission--I’m getting even more curious into feeling things from a different perspective, from a different vantage point, and not adhering to any status quo.  Life has a way of, at least in my circumstances, of stretching me so I sometimes have a curiosity to be open to a different way seeing a situation.  It’s all I have, because if I hold on, I’d be complacent.  I’d be holding on to old teachings that no longer serve any purpose or have any energy behind them.

So in a sense, I am forced to see things, to be curious, to step through that veil of the unknown of what I don’t know, into a whole new paradigm of what can be.  I like that notion of curiosity and having the courage to take those steps into the unknown, into the fog, and see if the fog really isn’t there, the veil isn’t there, but it’s a whole new perspective of reality.


(The fear of complacency)   

NEBADONIA:  What occurs to me, my son, is that from a human standpoint there’s such a close kinship of curiosity and the fear of no growth, status quo, complacency.  I suppose the distinguishing thing is that curiosity is like a tug whereas the fear of complacency is more like a whip driving you.  They’re both useful tools to get you moving out there exploring, with the courage to go into it.  So your fear of the fear--(Mother chuckles)--of complacency is nothing to worry about.  I think you correctly just realized the tug of curiosity is a little nicer.  It’s a lot more fun to be kind-of teased into something rather than just being driven along.

The attitude with which you can approach things is a little more positive that way.  In any case they are two great motivating forces that are very closely allied with your deeper wisdom that realizes the death in stagnation and wants you to avoid it at all cost, even at the risk of life and limb.  Irrespective of the cat analogy, curiosity certainly has done in a few human beings all along.  But then that’s the price you pay, and that’s why it takes courage to welcome and enjoy a real thorough-going investigation.

Student:  Yeah, I see what you mean.  As you were saying that I saw the distinction between curiosity and the fear of complacency.  Curiosity has a more positive overtone to it like inquiring in terms of who I am, inquiring into a greater aspect of who I am, curious about transforming and opening to a greater sense of who I am.  While complacency I see as a fear of boredom and (student laughs) actually being propelled by fear, you know?  In that sense I see where that could be detrimental because we’d never be coming from a place of solid ground of spiritual home base.  We’d always be seeking something outside ourselves whether it’s to climb a mountain or to go off into some tangent of spiritual seeking.  So I do see the distinction in that.


(Complacency V.S. completeness)

NEBADONIA:  Also, my son, you are touching on the distinction between feeling complacent and feeling complete in your home base.  I agree there is hardy anything more psychically painful for an alert human being than intense boredom.  But there is a difference between complacency, which you can be fearful of falling into like some sticky pit, and taking a break from everything--even from curiosity--just to be--in your meditation.  Consider taking a break from everything conceivable--even that delicious tug of the unknown--and just fully enjoying being in your organic/mindful/spiritual/soulful completeness with us and our Father.  So while complacency is something to avoid, you make that distinction.  Then when you do take your break from striving just to feel all that you already are, you can glory in that.  This is by no means being complacent. This is that deep rest, returning home, that allows you to launch forth again refreshed and renewed.  

Student:   Yeah, I understand that.  I’ve been feeling where sometimes, you know, if you’re always serious you’re not really experiencing the moment.  You’re experiencing something in the future, or trying to.  But if you just in the moment experience a piece of that deep joy, that rest; and I have been feeling that more and more.  I can see an analogy in that.  It’s like my mind or my whole being doesn’t want to take in anymore.  It’s had it--you know?  It just wants to enjoy what it has taken in--in a sense, integrate and just enjoy that.  So I have been experiencing that more and more.

NEBADONIA:  It’s the fulfillment of curiosity.  It’s wonderful to have your curiosity fulfilled, even, every now and then, to be totally overwhelmed with the enormity of it all.  It keeps you happy and humble.

Student:  Yeah, I see that and I feel that.  There are times where I feel that my fear for the wellbeing of others, like my daughter and my granddaughter in particular, is that because they’re no longer in my realm and around me in day to day life.  They’re on their own.  I guess I’ll always be apprehensive about what’s going on in their lives, and how I can best go to them--which I do know how.  But there’s an underlying tone in my relationship with them that sometimes I feel like it’s not totally healthy for me or for them.  Sometimes I have a hard time letting go--and I’m sure you can relate to this.  

But it’s like--because my daughter at times can be so frantic in her mind, I’d like to be able to show her how to kind-of harness that.  And she’s aware of that too; she told me it’s like sometimes her mind reflects in her life, certain aspects of her life.  I am aware of this underlying apprehension, this fear for their own wellbeing, and it’s nothing I can do.  I can’t control them--obviously--but I can find some peace within myself behind that fear.

NEBADONIA:  I think you have realized, my son, that a true love is not possessive, and it does take courage.  You are right that, as you say, Michael and I know full well to let our children be.  This is that true friendship you mentioned in your opening prayer.  It’s the greater part of parental love, and then even a friend’s love.  The love of friendship is to let each other be; even let your children, you know, stub their toes and stumble and fall.  It’s the recognition that you are experiential beings, and experience is what fills your souls.  Hopefully, as in the case of your daughter, there’s even some reflection coming about that enables her to see what she needs to do next, how she needs to grow some more control and calmness.  I congratulate you and encourage you to keep letting her be.  Accept your anxiety for her as a token of your love.

Student:  Thank you.

NEBADONIA:  Be in my love.  (long pause)

Do you have any questions or comments this evening, C?  You certainly don’t need any.  We can just enjoy this wonderful thing we share here.

Student:  Thank you, Mother

NEBADONIA:  Then, my daughter, be in my love.


(One kind of meditation)

I would like to ask you, my children, to, if you would, read again Michael’s lesson last time on meditation.  Because as he said, we know fully well--and so he wished to acknowledge--that for those of you who have not gone deeply into this, to where it is a reward and a very sure anchor in this organic life you live, it is indeed a very strange thing from the outside.  Why is that person just sitting there? (Mother chuckles) Or, more personally, why am I just setting here?--so much to do--so many great good things--my curiosity is calling--I can feel it calling for me--and my courage is revving me up to get out there and do it.  So think of determined meditation as a kind of counterpoise, a way of practicing acceptance of whatever is coming up on its own, not related or anchored to some specific physical activity.

If it helps you understand the peculiar difficulty of meditation, consider that from the standpoint of your animal, physical being, there’s nothing more terrifying than immobility.  To an animal it means helplessness.  If any of you have tried to hold a wild animal still, you know how they will struggle against you.  So when you sit down to meditate this is also another thing that you are confronting.  Your need to be doing something, your impatience to be getting on with your life can, unfortunately, keep spurring you on down some kind of rabbit-path of least resistance, identifying with some conditioned habit either good or bad.  This is the unique difficulty of the kind we recommend because it’s not filling your mind with some particular object to contemplate.  Those are just other kinds of meditations and valuable in their own right.

But if you will, just stubbornly sit there seeing what comes up.  The one activity we have offered besides continuing to be aware of you breath and your heart beating, is taking notes of those things that pop up which seem so valuable you’ll become afraid of forgetting them.  But the practice of just letting come what will is contra-distinct from sitting down to work on a problem, or even playing with some favorite hobby.  Just sit down and think: OK, Father, here I am.  What do You have for me?  You continue accepting whatever comes next--whatever it is--even some silly TV commercial jingle: whatever.

You are at your home base and this is what is happening now.  You can slowly grow this detachment.  This ever-refined experience of who and what you are does open the door to something continuing.  When you stand up I would suggest very slowly walking around a little bit to gradually merge into activity once again.  You will find that you have indeed just earned something and it is staying with you.  This kind of strange inactivity of just sitting and watching your breath, feeling your heart beat, watching your thoughts, is in itself the greatest teaching we can provide for you, for here is also where we become friends.  We can even give you a feeling of our presence.  And so we ask this of you, my children, that you join us here and say hello.  Feel my love and let it radiate all through you.  Good evening.