Nebadonia052906MarinTM_TheOriginOfThoughts

Nebadonia May 29, 2006

Marin TM Group—Mill Valley, California--U.S. A.

NEBADONIA-T/R-JL

1. (The origin of thoughts)
2. (What emerges and builds in stillness)
3. (The changing dimensions of time)
4. (Fully embrace each moment)
5. (The real and the ideal)
6. (Detachment from thoughts)
7. (Be a democracy within)

Dear Mother Spirit and Michael, Greetings! We thank You for being able to talk with You this way. We have come to trust Your lessons for the insights and the understandings they give us, always pointing us at the next step to take in our spiritual growth. We have also learned to trust Your answers to our questions. They are more to the point and from a broader perspective than what we may at first realize. So we thank You again, and send You all our love. Amen.

(The origin of thoughts)

NEBADONIA: Good evening, My children, this is Nebadonia, your spiritual mother and Mind/Spirit friend. What a joy it is when you recognize I am so much a part of your mind, your thinking, yet is really not important to feel you need to dissect your thinking and wonder what exactly is its origin and its extent. For you yourselves are part of the Deity Absolute, that facet of God which is a summation of all the personal beings in existence. As such you are creative. You are not strictly bound by antecedent causes in what comes before each moment. You have within you the potential to create something new. This spiritual dimension of your personality is the origin of much of your thoughts-- along with a persisting and continuing physical body including the enormous workings of your nervous system and brain, and what mind-reality it generates.

So there is quite a lot here that is you. Yet there are also My Mind/Spirit Adjutants of Knowledge, Courage, Curiosity, Understanding, Wisdom and Worship, even the Adjutant of Council, or what you might think of as gregariousness—enjoying the community of relationships with your fellow men and women. Michael’s Spirit of Truth lives in your heart, encouraging you to seek the reality within the whole mix of what is both real and unreal you encounter.

Then there is your Father Fragment, the living presence of God in your mind, individualized to be your companion not only in this first phase of your eternal life, but to actually fuse and become one with you in the near future. This too is your constant companion. This is the presence of God in your mind, and it is only the pure spiritual state of this presence that puts it somewhat removed beyond the physiological/electrochemical aspect of your thinking and feeling. Your Father Fragment’s function is not just to interject an idea once or twice a week, though it may be even more rare that you recognize it, but this is a constant input, a constant persuasion ever urging and encouraging you to a greater spiritual viewpoint and realization. If you think back on your childhood and adolescence, who were you talking to when you were thinking in conversations? This is Who you were talking with.

When you were reasoning things out and got momentarily stumped, it was the presence of all three of Us in your mind that made suggestions, and helped you evaluate what you came up with. Many great, creative artists of all kinds—say a surgeon operating out on the very edge of medical technique—will tell you he is not certain where the good ideas come from. Part of it is analyzing the situation into all its component pieces, then giving yourself time to come up with the solution. Most of you have discovered that if you sleep on some problem overnight or for a few days, you discover your mind is quite active while you are sleeping. Indeed, much of your dream life is an attempt to understand what is happening during your waking hours. You’ve all had dreams that were an attempt to delve into the future by trying out different alternatives, different ways of living.

(What emerges and builds in stillness)

Last session Michael called this the wild mix of your human reality, your subjective experience. It is your personality’s function to unite these different elements which are sometimes pulling in contrary directions. Yet your personality is not as object of perception itself. The Eastern philosophies of Urantia have analyzed this particular situation very thoroughly and so have referred to your personality as: The eye that sees, but cannot see itself. For this reason neither Michael nor I can tell you what exactly it is you will find when you start to practice you stillness meditation. There is no way by thinking--or suspending thinking—you can directly grasp hold of yourself. So all stillness is relative. You, Michael and I, your Father Fragment—we’re all in this together.

So you may wonder: what is it that emerges after some period of practicing this meditation? We can only say that there is something there. Yet even here We have to draw a distinction between your personality, which does not change, and your personality’s possession of experience—your soul. Beyond your thoughts of what is currently happening to you, usually the next great realm you encounter in your stillness is that of your soul—the living, spiritual, running subtotal—if you will—of all your life to this moment. This is well beyond the ups and downs of your present moods and situations, for even people who have lived the most horrific or even terrifying lives find their souls to be a positive possession, a reassurance their lives have always had meaning and value—whether they could grasp it at the time, or not.

And so, ever so slowly, your personality does emerge to itself, and this emergence changes your whole relationship to life itself. You realize you definitely--are—in a such new way it can seem as if heretofore you were questioning even your very existence. Because now this reflects in a greater quality of consciousness, a greater tenacity of consciousness that is not so easily disturbed or blown away. Even as you grow old and your physical senses begin to fade, this growth of your personality’s soul, this sense of yourself can more than compensate. You can look forward to a possible endless spiritual growth, all the more so if you realize you are just starting out in eternity: and look how far you’ve come already in a relatively few years.

(The changing dimensions of time)

So this is all in the wild mix We call your mind. You are all blessed to be born at a time in history when the dimensions of time, as you experience them, are undergoing a very profound change. Your past is literally exploding, in no small part due to the electronic, digital revolution enabling the fantastic correlation and dissemination of discoveries of the past—the last several centuries of archeology; the recent ability to read the DNA of living plants and animals and trace their evolution back to connections made hundreds of thousands of years ago, including the different human races living on Urantia today. You are able to understand more about what happened in ancient history—today—than ever before, even at the time. Now a general interest in history is becoming wonderfully universal.

And as you look to the future with greater inner peace and stability, well-earned abilities and adaptability’s, much of the fear mankind has always lived with is slowly evaporating. You are learning to trust yourselves and each other to find the way forward, even to welcome with some enthusiasm the courage you know it will take. So be at peace, My children. Trust that deep, soul-satisfying peace that Michael wishes to share with you. Deeply relax in your stillness and feel My love supporting you, nurturing you, healing you. This is nothing you need cling to--as a state
of mind--to carry throughout your day for, for the most part, this is impossible. You need to be fully committed to discovering each moment’s uniqueness as it unfolds so largely beyond what you can anticipate. So let go— forget yourselves. There is a subtle something that builds in your stillness, and makes your mind more flexible and tenacious, more able to respond to others and beam upon them your love and peace, your joy and assurance. This is how you accomplish your part of each moment as it comes.

If you have any questions or comments this evening, lets see what we can accomplish with them.

Student: Yes, Mother, the word I’ve been focusing on these last few weeks since my Saturday gathering is the word atonement (Pronounced at-onement). I don’t feel at one, like I’m not focused enough, or decisive enough in my life. I’m too scattered, and not tenacious enough in my conscious endeavors. There are times in stillness when I do feel at one with spirit, but I guess the challenge is to feel this in every moment of my life. But I’m not consistent in spirit, especially in terms of sexual energy. It just seems to take over me, so I don’t feel whole, and it gets distorted and dysfunctional. I feel I’m letting myself down, and my Father Fragment down. So I want that feeling of oneness, of peace I have experienced. I keep thinking, if the universe wants us to feel this peace, this love, to be a creative powerhouse of life and affirmation and joy, then why do we turn away from it so much? Why do I seek something else, when I know better? It seems these patterns are so ingrained. It takes so much effort to get a hold on them, and keep them away from my conscious, everyday living.

(Fully embrace each moment)

MOTHER: My son, you’ve just wonderfully expressed you own wild mix. (Yes…) It’s for this reason We’ve been giving our lessons on the complexity of human reality, and all that it entails. You are also face to face with the nature of stillness, and you rightfully realize when it is successful, when you can feel a oneness—the unity which is a function of your personality. This is what your personality was intended to do, and what it intends to do. Yet because this unity is so subtle, there is no way you can hang onto it. No matter how delicately you conceive it, it will still be some state of mind, and this is exactly what you must let go of each moment to fully embrace the next.

There is nothing you can carry over moment to moment for certain. Stillness just gives you the reassurance of returning to your home base and your sense of yourself, and finding yourself once again after yet another upheaval. You just slowly gain a trust that you are always there—whether you can consciously know this or not. This is the positive self-forgetfulness We recommend, because life is purposefully so demanding--for you to really fill your time, and have a great and bountiful life full of all kinds of things. This demand is so great you cannot carry over some reserve. Rather each moment demands a commitment simply to realize, as best you can, what is happening now.

(The real and the ideal)

Most of what you told Me is how your inner moments conflict with ideals you have of how they should be better. Believe it or not, that is all to the good. You have to realize both, the real and the ideal. Human life was set up this way—deliberately. It may feel you have one foot on a solid dock, in a transcending time-and-space absolute reality of a personality; yet the other foot is in a boat of mind/body tossing and bobbing and going every which way, which is what your day to day life is. This is especially true in your more modern, highly mobile and complex society.

This is the situation and you cannot stand outside it and nonchalantly generalize: Well, everything must be going for the best. Because it may not be. Your ideals can inform you of great changes you need to make in your life in order to keep growing. Staying open to these is the challenge— to feel all you possibly can. This is living with an open heart and an open mind.

Student: I think my sense of failure comes when I fall prey to a past pattern that is unsavory in my estimation, and I feel I’ve let myself down, and I’ve let my Father down. I ought to be beyond this now. I ought to have outgrown this. And I don’t want to feel this way, because it’s not who I am—it’s not my personality. So I kind-of beat myself up.

MOTHER: But aren’t you finding a degree of validity within this? By that I mean, this could be a valid assessment. You can be congratulated for understanding how these older patterns you wish to get rid of, how they persist.

Student: It seems like… another whole being… I feel schizophrenic. I feel it’s another person committing this—doing these patterns, than who I truly am. It just seems so out of character.

MOTHER: Yet it is all part of you, is it not?

Student: Maybe, when I say it’s out of character, it’s because I’m gaining character.

MOTHER: As your ideals get stronger, you begin to experience this polarity more and more. And We can only encourage you to persist in growing. Your personal failures, as you feel them to be, can give you such an understanding of your fellow humans, and all they are going through too. This is the power of understanding. This is something you can hold: you can com-prehend (Her emphasis). By being open to these problems, and understanding them, you bring them into consciousness. For you do have the phenomena of denial, where people can be hugely motivated by patterns they refuse to acknowledge; and then project onto others.

Keep penetrating these undesirable patterns and trace them back to their origins, both in the past when you learned them, and moment to moment as they pop up again. So many habits causing ill health are impulsive, and if you can learn to resist these impulses, that itself—that ability—can build up like money in the bank. But the root impulse will always be there because it is part of your past, part of your experience. You have to find a way to live with it, and yet render it powerless over you.

Student: It’s interesting because I had been doing so well. But when I look at it, I wonder: where do these thoughts come from? I don’t want them any more. It’s not who I am. I don’t want to go in that direction. I can feel affirmed, but then there’s those moments I forget myself, and the feelings get too intense. They just drive me, and entice me, or tempt me. Then I feel unworthy of doing anything well-intended—in my Father’s eyes. Who am I to spout spiritual ideals and live the life I’m intended to live when I allow these patterns to persist? It does keep me humble…

(Detachment from thoughts)

MOTHER: It is good to reach a point where no thought has the ability to disturb you. Realize that on the most fundamental level of simple association--that even all the higher animals enjoy, on this very basic level almost anything can cross your mind that ever did. In addition: you live in a particular society in the United States, with its mass media, that is really a catch-as-catch-can grab-bag of almost every human impulse and temptation you can imagine. You encounter these; they are in your mind. I could suggest the notion of an obscene idea, and one or more will pop into your mind—whatever you consider this way. This is where this…something (Mother broke out laughing, and the student joined in) this something I mentioned, does built up in your meditation—ever so subtly—and gives you a detachment from your thoughts themselves. Part of this is recognition. You think: Oh, This is just that idea again. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you do get caught up in the stray, wandering temptation, and indulge it awhile.

Here, My son, it is good to have a very clear distinction between entertaining whatever kind of thought—some of the sticky ones are hard to get rid of, for awhile, and how it may affect your overt behavior. It is one thing to have almost any thought, and another when you have the degree of maturity to not act them out, nor let them influence your relations with others. This is a critical distinction to make, then derive some comfort from the fact that though these temptations may come and go—and you are now feeling the struggle to deal with them—they are not affecting your relations with others. That is a great triumph and something you can rightfully consider an accomplishment.

Student: That’s true…

MOTHER: This is yet another ideal to strive for, but achieving it allows you a freedom of mind and a freedom with others, a hard-earned trust in yourself you won’t act inappropriately because of these undesirable desires.
Student: Hmmm… Thank You for that. . . . .

MOTHER: So rest easy in your soul, My son. It’s all-of-the-above. Feel yourself coming and going with yourself. There is no other way, no shortcut. It is better to feel this and accept moment by moment what is happening--to find your peace, to rediscover or recreate you peace—by including everything, than to try to suppress unwanted notions and only divide yourself further. You need to be a kind of democracy within your own mind.

(Be a democracy within)

On a much larger level of spiritual personalities, when your System Sovereign, Lucifer, went astray, it was why We on a higher plane of power and authority--Michael, Myself, the Constellation Fathers—We did not immediately step in and squash the rebellion, but let it take its course until all the beings caught up in the affair understood what was involved, and had made their choices as to which side they were on. This is how We encourage you to think of yourself, within yourself. Let all these stray ideas and impulses come and go. Just look at them and recognize them for what they are. Any kind of suppression or denial is only short-sighted. In the long run it is better to say: Well, here comes that again. Keep it out of your relationship with others, then let it fade away.

This is so much better than with folks who are so terrified at having certain ideas, they get at war within themselves, leading to all kinds of self-flagellation and torment and guilt. Whereas We actually look at guilt as an indulgence. Rather exercise a constant acceptance of yourself. Stay abreast of where you are. Decide within each moment. All this creates clear memories of these inner events. Even your inner peace is something you enjoy, then let go to be fully in the next moment. It just builds up of its own over a period of years of meditation: something there—call it character. That’s about all We can say about it.

Michael sends you His peace… (I need it!--laughing). Remember to take time out and return home to feel it. Gather your strength, think about things, then let it all go and step off again. All My love. Good evening.

END